of reading about relationships...
men want to know why women do this or that. women want to know why men do this or that. how about...who cares?
in the wake of tiger woods revealing he's had "indescretions", i can't help but wonder... what significance does this have on my life? it reveals that the man who seemed to do nothing but love his parents, wife, kids and golf...is merely a man. again, how does this affect me? not.at.all.
while i admit that i had my own scenario of the things that went down with tiger, i recognize that it was purely for my own entertainment. the events, in no way, help to contribute to my opinion of men in general.
here's the reality: i've dealt with some real idiots in my lifetime. with the exception of violence, i may have run the gamut of the wrong type of men to deal with. yet, i still know, with no doubt, that there are men out there that are faithful, honest, and just good people. my dad was one of those men. my granddaddy was too. more importantly, i know that the man that God has for me... is there. i may know him already, i may not...but i know he's there.
i can understand how easy it is to be discouraged...been there, done that. i wonder if the same people that are so busy trying to figure out what wrong with the opposite sex, are spending the same amount of time looking in the mirror and determining what's wrong with them. like it or not, nobody's perfect, and i know that sometimes the reason why we don't have what we want is because we're not ready for it. how many people found this out when their homes were foreclosed on because they got into loans that they just couldn't afford? this theory applies to relationships as well. if you're not a full person internally, how will you able to withstand being in a relationship?
that's what changed my discouragement to encouragement. i think that a mate is complementary to what you already are. if you're not whole, then does it make sense to bring another person into your own internal issues? even further, a complete relationship is two wholes joined together to form one whole - not two halves. so a couple of years ago, i decided to stop worrying about the external and deal with the internal.
the moral of the story is: stop worrying about why you're not in a relationship right now. don't worry about what other folks are doing. do.you. recognize your own flaws, fix them, and be the best person you can be. live your life celebrating who you are and who you're becoming! that's when the "birds of a feather" credo will apply. when you piss excellence, you'll attract someone that pisses excellence as well. *shout out to ricky bobby!!!* and perhaps, because of example, those around you will get their act together, and the negative cloud that seems to hang over male/female relationships will finally clear.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
today...
i had to let it go...
the reality that was my 2009 hit me square and center in the forehead... it's been... rough. rough in circumstances, but not rough in emotions. i stand firm in knowing that God has done particular things in my life this year... if for no other reason, to give me a testimony and to allow me to see my faults for what they are - and to work on them. but, i did VERY LITTLE agonizing over circumstances this year, and it seems that today, they all seemed to crash down on me.
one of the circumstances still hung over my head...one of those invisible things that you tend to ignore until sometimes the string gets weak and hits you in the face. then you just replace the string, and there it sits again...just hanging. today, i FINALLY got the message, and severed the ties to that circumstance and allowed it to hit the ground. and while it was meant to be marked "complete", in the process, in that moment, i re-lived the circumstance and felt all the pain and other emotions that came with it.
with all of that, i simply thank God that tomorrow is a NEW day... i thank God for the ability to see past the pain and be thankful for the outcome. i thank God that that door is finally shut and welcome and am thankful in advance for the other door to open. through the tears, my spirit is smiling, knowing that while today was a low, being at the bottom only means that there's nowhere to go but up...and i welcome that journey.
i look forward to seeing 2010 and seeing what God does in my life...
the reality that was my 2009 hit me square and center in the forehead... it's been... rough. rough in circumstances, but not rough in emotions. i stand firm in knowing that God has done particular things in my life this year... if for no other reason, to give me a testimony and to allow me to see my faults for what they are - and to work on them. but, i did VERY LITTLE agonizing over circumstances this year, and it seems that today, they all seemed to crash down on me.
one of the circumstances still hung over my head...one of those invisible things that you tend to ignore until sometimes the string gets weak and hits you in the face. then you just replace the string, and there it sits again...just hanging. today, i FINALLY got the message, and severed the ties to that circumstance and allowed it to hit the ground. and while it was meant to be marked "complete", in the process, in that moment, i re-lived the circumstance and felt all the pain and other emotions that came with it.
with all of that, i simply thank God that tomorrow is a NEW day... i thank God for the ability to see past the pain and be thankful for the outcome. i thank God that that door is finally shut and welcome and am thankful in advance for the other door to open. through the tears, my spirit is smiling, knowing that while today was a low, being at the bottom only means that there's nowhere to go but up...and i welcome that journey.
i look forward to seeing 2010 and seeing what God does in my life...
disturbing thoughts
today has been a rough day... so i know i'll have to split this up into two parts. let me first speak on the fact that president obama is sending 30,000 more troops into afghanistan.
a friend of mine sent me a link to a blog where a slain soldier's brother is sharing his story about his brother and his feelings about the decision that president obama has made. in reading the story, i could feel his emotion, and was touched and emotionally affected by his loss. with that, though, i also felt that his opinion about president obama's decision was emotionally biased.
now, i can completely understand how it could be, and in no way am i being judgmental in how he feels. but, the realist in me feels as though obama's decision is based on the saying, 'sometimes it has to get worse before it gets better'. i never agreed with sending troops to iraq OR to afghanistan in the first place...but i know that these events occurred under the leadership of george w, NOT under obama. AND, unlike many folks, i believe that the president that i voted for, is true to his word about his feelings about the troops being over there and that his ultimate goal is to bring them all home.
i thought it only fair to take an assessment of the situation, and recognize that if president obama was to bring all our troops home, would anything be accomplished? have the afghani people learned how to protect themselves and their land? and what about all those troops that we have already lost for this purpose? it seems that an instant withdrawal with no resolution would result in these soldiers dying in vain...and to me, that would be more of a travesty then sending more troops in to get the job done thoroughly and completely and then bringing them home knowing that the task has been accomplished.
i heard analysts speaking of obama's plan to withdraw the troops in 18 months...and it astonishes me that with as many broken promises that our last president has made, there is so much focus on a timeline vs. the actual plan itself. my immediate concern is that things are rectified and our troops are brought home, moreso then how long or how many it takes.
at the risk of sounding insensitive (which i'm not)... i cannot profess to understand how those families of the fallen feel. i cannot and will not ever understand the terrifying feeling of getting that phone call or having those soldiers show up to your door. BUT, i have gotten a phone call letting me know that my father had passed away. so i DO know the pain of losing a loved one. the difference, in my opinion, is that these soldiers made a informed choice to enter the military. one of the occupational hazards to military service is the possibility of going to war, and moreso, losing your life while serving your country. my father did not choose to get cancer. so, while i understand, i also feel it to be unfair that blame obama for not doing what you feel is best, but what HE feels is best as the leader of this country.
while i can understand that it seems as though i'm defending obama, i don't think that i am. i don't know what his ultimate plan is, i can only assume...but i know that i voted for this man to lead this country. i know that with his passion, he has united (in many ways) this country so that each individual understands their own importance in how their life ends up. i have seen him handle criticism and his criticizers with grace and integrity. i have seen him do more for this country's people (pushing a healthcare plan for more than 90% of it's citizens) in his short time in office then i can say about our last president of 8 years. does this mean that i support every decision he makes? of course not...but i support him as the leader of this country. he was put in office to do what's best for the people of this country, and i completely believe that he is dedicated to doing just that.
and to those who insist on critizing every move he makes and choose to dwell on what they consider broken promises, i challenge you to look past your own emotions, and present a solution that will benefit the country as a whole, not just your personal interests. even further, i challenge you to enter the political realm... if you want change, you have to be the catalyst for change...so since you feel you can make better decisions, get out there and prove it. and hopefully, you will not have the misfortune of having people out there that will make it their mission to prove that you are perfectly imperfect...
a friend of mine sent me a link to a blog where a slain soldier's brother is sharing his story about his brother and his feelings about the decision that president obama has made. in reading the story, i could feel his emotion, and was touched and emotionally affected by his loss. with that, though, i also felt that his opinion about president obama's decision was emotionally biased.
now, i can completely understand how it could be, and in no way am i being judgmental in how he feels. but, the realist in me feels as though obama's decision is based on the saying, 'sometimes it has to get worse before it gets better'. i never agreed with sending troops to iraq OR to afghanistan in the first place...but i know that these events occurred under the leadership of george w, NOT under obama. AND, unlike many folks, i believe that the president that i voted for, is true to his word about his feelings about the troops being over there and that his ultimate goal is to bring them all home.
i thought it only fair to take an assessment of the situation, and recognize that if president obama was to bring all our troops home, would anything be accomplished? have the afghani people learned how to protect themselves and their land? and what about all those troops that we have already lost for this purpose? it seems that an instant withdrawal with no resolution would result in these soldiers dying in vain...and to me, that would be more of a travesty then sending more troops in to get the job done thoroughly and completely and then bringing them home knowing that the task has been accomplished.
i heard analysts speaking of obama's plan to withdraw the troops in 18 months...and it astonishes me that with as many broken promises that our last president has made, there is so much focus on a timeline vs. the actual plan itself. my immediate concern is that things are rectified and our troops are brought home, moreso then how long or how many it takes.
at the risk of sounding insensitive (which i'm not)... i cannot profess to understand how those families of the fallen feel. i cannot and will not ever understand the terrifying feeling of getting that phone call or having those soldiers show up to your door. BUT, i have gotten a phone call letting me know that my father had passed away. so i DO know the pain of losing a loved one. the difference, in my opinion, is that these soldiers made a informed choice to enter the military. one of the occupational hazards to military service is the possibility of going to war, and moreso, losing your life while serving your country. my father did not choose to get cancer. so, while i understand, i also feel it to be unfair that blame obama for not doing what you feel is best, but what HE feels is best as the leader of this country.
while i can understand that it seems as though i'm defending obama, i don't think that i am. i don't know what his ultimate plan is, i can only assume...but i know that i voted for this man to lead this country. i know that with his passion, he has united (in many ways) this country so that each individual understands their own importance in how their life ends up. i have seen him handle criticism and his criticizers with grace and integrity. i have seen him do more for this country's people (pushing a healthcare plan for more than 90% of it's citizens) in his short time in office then i can say about our last president of 8 years. does this mean that i support every decision he makes? of course not...but i support him as the leader of this country. he was put in office to do what's best for the people of this country, and i completely believe that he is dedicated to doing just that.
and to those who insist on critizing every move he makes and choose to dwell on what they consider broken promises, i challenge you to look past your own emotions, and present a solution that will benefit the country as a whole, not just your personal interests. even further, i challenge you to enter the political realm... if you want change, you have to be the catalyst for change...so since you feel you can make better decisions, get out there and prove it. and hopefully, you will not have the misfortune of having people out there that will make it their mission to prove that you are perfectly imperfect...
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