it's been a minute...

yep, life is moving quickly, so, i decided to go ahead and give a little update...

my friend, with the sick girlfriend? yeah, she has stage 3 cervical cancer. and for some reason, God designated ME as the person to explain the seriousness of this to him. just that morning, my god-sister called and told me that her aunt had passed, so the day seemed to be one where i just needed God to guide my words...

and so, as i explain to him that the 5 year survival rate is 25-35%, he proceeds to completely GO OFF about how many times he had told her to go to the doctor, how this was preventable, and how he just really didn't want to be with her anymore, but knew he couldn't leave her in her present condition... wow.

that same night, i got news of a very good friend of a VERY good friend who had suddenly passed away. in remembering him, i was extremely saddened as i could only think of him as being someone who was just a genuinely good person. as i sat there in tears, mourning the life of one of the "good guys", i continually read all the updates of positive memories on his fb page, and i couldn't help but smile about all the happy times that he brought to those who knew him, and how he has served his purpose. i was ecstatic to know that he had a relationship with God, and even remarked at how his life resembled one that would be pleasing to God. it was at that moment that i was conscious of the fact that that's how i wanted to be remembered...

and so, even as all those things occurred in one day, and i had had an "uncle" pass away that same week, i just sat there marveling about how blessed i really am. we seem to take our gift of LIFE for granted at times, and honestly, i could count myself in that number. and i decided, just that quickly, that those thoughts would stop.

i wake up everyday, yet, i forget just how much of a blessing that is. God called reggie to come "home" only a week and some change before his 33rd birthday - a year and a half younger than me. it serves as a reality check. and so, when, not even a week later, i had to check myself... i hadn't been to my home church here for over 6 months. even though i was in constant prayer, i hadn't finished up some things that needed to be completed before i got a job... and so, i'm at about 90%. i still have some things to complete, but i had to get honest with myself, and recognize that i had not completed my "works" part...

a few months ago, a friend of mine told me that God was trying to take me to a new place in Him, and i was fighting it tooth and nail... i didn't understand what she meant, but, i recognized that, although i was still praying, i wasn't being spiritually fed, nor was i doing the things that i KNEW needed to be done... and so, even though i'm still a work in progress, i am trying to concentrate on those things that i have the ability to complete, instead of thinking about those things that God hasn't done for me yet... i constantly remind myself of God's promises, and that i have to do what i need to do to be in a position to receive those promises... and so, i encourage anyone reading this to do the same...

if something is not going right in your life, stop and contemplate why God has you where you are. make sure that you alleviate all the distractions, and have a conversation and not only ask, but LISTEN... and pray for understand and the ability to hear God... He's pretty clear when you're really listening, but i will admit that it DOES take some time to get there - and i will also admit that there are times when i'm unsure of whether i heard Him or myself, so i ask for confirmation.

sometimes you just realize that you no longer need to make decisions and wonder why life is the way it is...but, just sit, live, figure out what you're supposed to do, get it done, and wait... we've gotta remember that faith is a verb...an action word... so, the REALEST way to exhibit this action is when it's absolutely NECESSARY, and God will put us there and truly show us exactly where that same faith we talk about when life is good, is when life is not so good.

keep praying y'all... and further, keep LISTENING...