I feel like...

John Salley's character in that movie Eddie. You know, the one with Whoopi Goldberg? Yeah, so, in case you haven't seen it, John Salley plays Nate Wilson, an older, seasoned/veteran on the NY Knicks that gets called in the game because he knows the fundamentals of the game, but due to injury and age, is not a starter, but, can still play the game.

So yeah...that's who I feel like right now. As I ventured out tonight to celebrate the Founders Day of my illustrious sorority, I sought to be around my sorors but also to find a balance of being around my sorors and some testosterone as well. Needless to say, I saw a few men that I knew, one that I thought I was a potential for a relationship and others, and upon leaving the celebration, I could not help but feel... like MAYBE it's time to hang up my jersey.

After my encounters tonight, I could thoroughly understand how Nate felt in the movie. I'm single and considered older at 34, so I'm not out the game completely... but, nobody has come along to make me retire my jersey completely. So I sit there, and when the coach waves me in, I get in the game... and while I know those deadly crossovers are coming, I also know that my opponent is NOT a pure shooter, and will likely miss the basket if I stick to my game and do my best to anticipate his shot.

After much of that... I know that I belong on the bench. I'm not ready to retire my jersey until I know I'll win a championship...yet, it just seems as though I'm not on that team. The opponents get better and faster, yet, I remain the same...and until I can face an opponent who is on my same level, things won't change.

Yes, I'm interested in someone. He is what I would consider the epitome of the ultimate opponent. His entire being challenges me to be the best I can be. Yet, instead of feeling anxious that I may play him and his team, I feel at ease. I feel as though me being the player I am will be good enough and that playing against him will be enough to make me want to retire. No, I don't know if he feels the same way... I don't know if I'm the opponent that he feels is his equal...but, amazingly... I don't care. I'm going to play my game based on the type of player I am, and I may be wrong...but, I may be right. And if I'm wrong, there will always be another opponent... eventually... who I will feel the same about, and perhaps after our duel, it'll be time to retire my jersey.

But until then... I will sit on the bench...and wait for my time to get in the game...and play MY game, not this new, fast-paced, human highlight game. And believe that when I DO retire, players will recognize that I played with alot of heart, never tried to conform to the new style of play that wins games but not championships, and will be counted as one of the best in the game.