"wow" update...

and just as quickly as it RE-began... it ended.

i finally asked the question. for the first time in my life, i asked the question. realization that i made some assumptions based on prior conversations, things he was saying to me, and what i believed would happen, i asked that question that we, as females, need to probably ask more: do we have the same end result in mind for what this is? and with that simple question, the winds turned, and i realized that we were not going in the same direction at all.

his tone betrayed his response. his staccato presentation contradicted his confidence. and the fact that he indicated his desire to head in the same direction, but cited two, imo, ridiculous reasons for not doing so, was what caused the most damage that day. it was then that i realized that he made the "easy" choice, rather then the "right" one. i was instantly reminded of the saying, "anything worth having is worth working hard for".

yet, despite my hurt, i remembered our friendship. i remembered that if and when i ever needed him, i knew that i'd be able to count on him. and so, just as quickly as i felt some kind of way, i reminded him that our friendship was still in tact, and ultimately, that i am okay with his decision. i also made sure to gently remind him that his expressions of feelings helped bring us to this point and that those expressions were no longer welcome, if we are to maintain the friendship that we both value.

and so, in the weeks that have passed, whenever we speak, i've heard him catch himself numerous times, and have reminded him of the choice he made a few times as well. last we spoke, he indicated that there were some things going on, but, he hasn't found the time over the last 2 weeks to talk about it. and so, i just pray for him and whatever situations he's in that are drama'd out.

and so, with this, despite the change in direction of things, i am thankful that i am able to demonstrate learning the exact lesson God's been trying to teach me over the last few years - my value and ensuring that whomever i deal with understands this as well. i've taken the short end of the stick too much, just because i wanted to hold the stick... but now, i recognize that the stick isn't really worth much if i only get a little piece of it rather then the whole thing.

and so, the adventure continues...and i look forward to the coming days with a smile and a renewed joy of knowing that there have been victories with every "failure", and each is simply a stepping stone to being ready to live a NEW adventure once this one is complete.

last thought... when life seems to repeat itself, most times it's because we failed to learn the lesson that God was trying to teach us the first time. in times of diversity, i encourage you to look past the circumstances and simply ask God what He's trying to teach you. if you're like me, you'll be amazed at what God will show you about yourself.